Why It’s OK Freshman Year Wasn’t the “Best” Year of My Life

Going to college is usually framed as this brand new life chapter where you magically find yourself, make lifelong friends, and live out a movie montage-worthy experience every single day. While college can be a time for growth, adventure, and figuring out who you are, that doesn’t mean everything has to fall into place the second you arrive on campus. And no, your freshman year of college doesn’t need to be the “best” year of your life.

There’s so much pressure to hit certain milestones right away at college, especially when it comes to finding a tight-knit friend group. If you don’t instantly create a “squad,” you might feel like you did something wrong, but I’m here to tell you that you can totally still have a meaningful year. 

As a freshman, I really loved my university, my classes, and being on campus, but I didn’t have close friends that first year. Here’s why that’s okay.

As an out-of-state student, I didn’t know anyone at my college. I lived with a roommate in the dorms, but we didn’t become the best of friends. I would constantly see huge groups of friends on campus, but didn’t experience that myself right away. There was a girl in my dorm who ended up being in a lot of my classes, and we’d walk to class together and sit next to each other, but we never got close outside of that.

There were moments when I questioned if I was doing this whole college thing correctly. I’d scroll through Instagram and see my peers laughing it up in huge groups, and I couldn’t help but wonder if I missed the memo about how to make friends. I was still figuring out how to put myself out there, and I was scared people I encountered wouldn’t want to hang out outside of class. I loved my courses and the independence of college life, but socially, things didn’t click right away. 

Still, I kept myself pretty busy. Between classes and my internship, I didn’t have much free time — and when I did, I would FaceTime my friends from home, which helped. 

My entire freshman year was definitely a journey for me. After I realized I didn’t need to live in a highlight reel, I started to really appreciate my classes and the freedom that came with college. I found myself getting comfortable spending time alone, whether that meant grabbing coffee by myself, going for walks around campus, or just lounging in my room with a great show.

I also started really pursuing my interests outside of school. Once I returned to school from winter break for the spring semester, I decided to ditch the pressure of living up to this idealized freshman experience. Instead, I zeroed in on what genuinely interested me, and I got an internship in local climate policy. It was in my college town, right next to campus. 

There, I met people who shared my values, cared about the same things I did, and got involved in meaningful projects, like encouraging college students to vote in local elections. This experience helped me realize that you’re more likely to have deeper friend connections when you’re doing the stuff you actually care about.

My internship gave me so many opportunities, and since a lot of the people I worked with were also students at my school, it made campus start to feel smaller and more connected. I never would have found my community if I didn’t follow my passion for local climate policy as I was still finding my footing freshman year. 

I’m grateful for the time I spent adjusting to my new life on campus, even if that meant I wasn’t living out a college movie montage. I got something better: I developed my patience and resilience that led to some of the most meaningful friendships I could hope for. 

For me, sophomore year turned out to be more where the real connections flourished. Instead of just waving to people in class, I was actually going out to do things with friends — grabbing late-night food, studying together at the library, walking around campus, or just hanging out in a dorm watching movies. 

Freshman year is just one chapter in a much bigger story. So, don’t stress if it’s not everything you thought it should be — you’re learning, growing, and setting the stage for future epic moments.