I Missed Home After One Night at College — Now, I Don’t Want to Leave My New City

When I was a college freshman in 2021, I moved halfway across the country from Michigan to attend school in New York. I loved the idea of living in the biggest city in America, but I was also an introverted, anxious homebody. My 700-mile move would turn out to be a great idea … eventually. But in the beginning, I experienced a learning curve of living by myself and the feeling of homesickness that followed. 

The first night I slept in my single dorm, I immediately began to miss home. I had just said goodbye to my parents and found a letter that they’d left on my desk. After reading it that night, it finally set in that I was living on my own and wouldn’t see my family until winter break. It was an emotional concept to accept. 

Instead of looking into transferring back home and giving up on my dream of getting a media degree in New York (with a goal to work in publishing) at the first sign of homesickness, I found that I could alleviate it with specific activities. 

Experiencing homesickness is extremely inconvenient for a college freshman trying to make friends and get to know the place they chose to live for at least the next four years (spoiler alert: I eventually fell in love with New York!). It’s also more common than you might think: According to a 2016 Emotion study, “During the first 10 weeks of college, 94% of students reported experiencing homesickness at some point.”

I saw this firsthand my freshman year as a lot of my classmates talked about missing home and struggling to adjust to independent college life. I knew I had to keep trying to deal with my own homesickness rather than hide it or let it hold me back.

My homesickness stemmed from being in an unfamiliar place without the comfort of knowing my parents were nearby to help, should I need it. I’ve always been close with my family. When I was growing up, my parents, brother, and I had weekly movie nights and TV shows that we would only watch together. It was hard to be away from the security I felt living with them and in my hometown. 

My immediate thought when I missed home and my family was to call my mom and talk to her. And I did the first one or two times, but part of the problem was that when I called my parents, it just exacerbated those feelings. Instead, I discovered that I missed home a little less when I watched the comforting movies or shows I loved to watch with my parents. (Of course, calling or texting with family and friends back home might work for some people — it’s all about finding the routine that works for you.)  

So whenever I would feel homesickness creep in, typically on Sunday night when I rarely had any plans, I would play my parents’ and my favorite movie, You’ve Got Mail, or my dad’s and my favorite, Five Pennies. They would always comfort me and bring me a sense of normalcy as I was adjusting to living in a different state. 

I also discovered that preparing familiar meals and snacks brought the same comfort that the movies did. My mom and I had a summer tradition of milkshakes on our front porch, so I bought the ingredients and would make a milkshake once in a while to remind me of home. I also figured out how to make a simplified version of my favorite family recipe — a chicken ranch pasta dish — in my dorm kitchen. This brought a sense of normalcy to my dorm that helped ease my homesickness. 

It became easier to accept living so far away when I did things that felt like I was at home. Over time, folding comfort shows and foods into my regular routine helped me establish a sense of security in this new place. It helped me understand that my home wasn’t only the one in Michigan with my family, but it could also be in my dorm room at college and with my new friends. 

Going away to college, being independent, and living in the dorms is a very exciting point in your life, but if you start to feel homesick — it’s totally normal. Before you head off to school, I recommend starting some traditions (or continuing the ones you already have) that remind you of home and will bring you a sense of comfort.

As you spend time with your friends and family, make note of the moments that you really want to remember — like if you went to a super fun concert and then played the songs on repeat all summer or started an inside joke about your favorite TV show. That way, you can have particular things that you can rewatch or listen to that remind you of the important people in your life while you’re starting your next chapter at college.