I Changed My Mind At Least 3 Times About Where to Go to College. Here’s What Finally Helped Me Decide

Not to be dramatic or anything, but four years ago, I made a decision that would alter the rest of my life. I was choosing between two colleges that were different in location, program, and overall experience.

Selecting a college probably is “one of the first big decisions that [young adults are] going to make in their life,” says Michelle Solomon, PsyD, a New York-based licensed clinical psychologist. “And with any big life decision, especially something like choosing which college [they’re] going to go to, it can stir up a lot of internal noise.”

For six months, that’s precisely what it did for me. I was debating between two media and writing programs I had been accepted into quite early — one in Georgia and another in New York City — and switched my decision at least three times. I would think I had settled on a college, but then I would review my pros and cons list and flip-flop. And then the process would repeat itself. 

The loop felt never-ending, and I didn’t know how I would make a final, final choice. I worried I would choose “the wrong” school and come to regret where I ended up. 

The thing is, according to Rachel York, a college admissions counselor at educational consultancy IvyWise, “Often, there is not necessarily a right choice. You kind of have to make a choice and then make it the right choice.”

Similarly, Solomon adds that, “no matter what choice you make, you’re going to be able to make a decision and you will always be okay.” But I was stuck in what Solomon says is “binary thinking, or all or nothing thinking” — that if I made a choice, it was either going to make or break me.

When I first started really narrowing down my college options in the fall of my senior year of high school, I toured the Southern school’s campus to help with my decision-making process — and I fell in love. I thought that was *it*. I was ready to formally accept my admittance, and I even posted an announcement on Instagram that I would be attending this program the next fall. I was ready. 

But it was also only October — six months before I truly had to make a decision. So I gave it some time and sat with my answer, thinking I would either become even more excited or realize this school wasn’t actually where I envisioned myself.

“Clarity with a decision like this really comes from first calming the nervous system. You can’t hear your intuition if you’re in a state of panic. It’s really important to sort of monitor how you’re feeling,” Solomon says.

I kept thinking about what my experience would be like in the Georgia college’s writing program versus the other school’s Fashion Media major in New York City. I looked at class sizes, gen ed courses, and how each school supported its students post-grad. 

This is exactly what York encourages students she’s working with to do. “Compare and contrast what [your] academic experience might be like, especially if you’re looking at a major that’s maybe a little bit more common,” York says. 

I also paid attention to cost and the financial aid that both schools offered. 

“If you were admitted to a dream school that feels out of reach financially, then pivot and look at what are some things about the flagship state school that you can get excited [about],” York says. 

After sitting on my college choice for three months (and contemplating, recontemplating, and recontemplating some more), I went back to the drawing board. It was January, and I didn’t yet feel settled in my decision, even though I loved the Southern school and the writing program. I was still reviewing my pros and cons list, going over the two programs, poring over YouTube videos from previous students, and reading articles on the college blogs. 

I realized I was avoiding making an official decision because I actually did want to attend the New York City college, but I was scared to move to a new and unknown city. Granted, Georgia would also be a change, but that college has an actual campus, which felt like a safer option than New York. 

Ultimately, though, I came to understand that the most important question for me was, “How does each school prepare its students for life after graduation?” I thought about my future and where I wanted to be, and what program would set me up the best for my life and my career aspirations. 

“In that moment, it can feel so big, and so what I would offer is to zoom out,” Solomon says. 

Her advice is to listen to your gut and what you believe will be the best place for you to thrive and grow. When I finally listened to mine, versus ignoring what I was scared of, I realized I would thrive in New York City in both my career and in my personal life.

And this is the other trick, according to Solomon: If you zoom out enough, you’ll realize that, “wherever you go, each path holds an opportunity for growth, so essentially there really isn’t a wrong choice,” she says.

York explains that where you go to college matters less than the fact that you even went to begin with. No pick is wrong at this time if you listen to your needs and follow what you believe right now is the best plan for your future. (Of course, there can always be choices we regret and need to reconsider later, but the important thing is to listen to your gut now and in the future and always do what you believe is best for yourself.) 

I’ve come to understand that if I had chosen to attend the Southern school, I wouldn’t have necessarily made the “wrong choice.” I definitely could’ve been happy in Georgia and in that writing program, but I can’t dwell on the what-ifs. Because after accepting that moving to New York City would be scary, but I could do it and I wanted to do it, I finally felt settled and excited about my college selection. 

Now, my graduation is right around the corner, and I can say I have continued to feel happy about my college decision throughout the last four years. All because I took time to review each school’s program and truly listened to myself and what I needed for my life’s next chapter.