The “Yes, But” Method Is the Secret to Saving Money and Still Having Fun

The urge to say yes to every fun plan in college is strong. Yes, I would love to try that new pilates studio. Yes, let’s take a spring break trip! Yes, I’ll grab a latte before my 10 a.m. class.

But these experiences come with a price tag, and between tuition, rent, textbooks, and groceries, my bank account does not always agree with my eager “yes” to plans. The thing is, turning down fun outings with friends — or even adjusting solo plans — can be tough, and that’s when the FOMO creeps in. Suddenly, saying “no” starts to feel like missing out on some of the best parts of college. I’ve eyed different budgeting practices before, but it’s hard to find the sweet spot between saving money and still having fun. 

Enter the “yes, but” method: a helpful budgeting framework that allows you to balance college fun with mindful spending.

The “yes, but” method is my name for a budgeting framework built around flexibility rather than restriction. It plays off the improv concept of “yes, and,” which is about saying yes and fully committing to everything. “Yes, but” is a way to adapt this attitude in a way that works with your budget, especially when you’re in college —  because most students, unfortunately, can’t afford to say yes to everything.

When you say “yes, but,” you’re giving yourself permission to do something you want, but instead of automatically going forward with your initial thought (like buying a new book or going to a fancy dinner), you think about more affordable ways you can make it happen. The idea is to come up with a financially mindful alternative when faced with a spending decision. Sometimes this can look like adjusting your expectations, and sometimes it can be going forward with the initial plan, but being careful about your spending during the outing or after to account for it. You can apply this method to your personal spending, social life, and everyday needs.

For example:

• I want a new book: Yes to having something new to read, but let me check the library first.
• I want to order takeout: Yes to ordering what I want, but I’ll grocery shop tomorrow and eat at home for the rest of the week.
• My friends want to catch up over an expensive dinner: Yes to seeing my friends, but could we do lunch or coffee instead?
• My friends want to go on a thrift shopping spree: Yes to going thrifting, but I’m going to set a price limit for myself and have fun window shopping the rest of the time.

The goal is not to eliminate fun spending, but to redirect it in a way that better aligns with your budget. This method pairs well with the concept of “loud budgeting,” which went viral in 2024 for encouraging people to be more open about their financial limits. The “yes, but” method takes this idea a step further by targeting not just the conversations you have with friends, but how you talk to yourself about money, too.

To get a better sense of how to use this method in my own life, I tapped Aja Evans for advice. Evans is a licensed therapist, speaker, and writer who specializes in financial therapy. “The main issue with budgets,” she explains, “is that people think they have to be super restrictive, but if done right, it can actually be very mindful. Including your small joys in your budget allows you to do things you like without going overboard and potentially regretting your spending.” Here’s how to try out the “yes, but” budgeting mindset in your own life.

Being overly restrictive with your money can be similarly counterproductive to overspending, Evans explains. Overrestriction often comes with guilt, anxiety, and fear that once you start spending, you won’t be able to stop. Finding a healthy balance is key.

Once your needs are taken care of, she recommends assessing how much money you have left over — and if you can afford to say yes, you should. “There is so much emotion wrapped up in money,” Evans says, “but really, money itself is just a tool.” It can be tough to remind yourself that you’re not doing anything wrong when you’re spending responsibly. “Reprogramming your mind to understand that you aren’t doing anything wrong when saying yes to spending can be a long road,” she says.

A realistic first step for students who want to rethink their spending habits, according to Evans, is simply understanding what money is coming in and what is going out. While it can be uncomfortable to look at the cold, hard numbers, doing so is essential for planning. This is especially important for people like me: I only work in the summer, so during the school year I am living off a lump sum. I try to check my account balance often so I have an idea of how much I am spending on a weekly basis.

Taking an economics class (even an intro course!) can be a valuable way to learn some financial fundamentals if your credit requirements allow for it. Don’t hesitate to talk to your friends about money, too — you very well could learn from them, or with them by doing some research together. I have even had small finance lessons from my friend’s parents!

Once you have a basic understanding of your financial situation, the “yes, but” method is a helpful way to guide how you spend your money in both solo and social situations. The tricky part, of course, can be coming up with an alternative that fits your budget, and especially in social situations, it can feel awkward or embarrassing to suggest doing something that costs less money. “If it feels hard or stressful to present cheaper alternatives, first remember that your friends shouldn’t be shaming you for anything involving money,” Evans says. “I know it happens, and it’s hard to be vulnerable, but I’d rather you have good friends than try to impress ones that can’t show up for you.”

She adds that sharing your financial goals — whether you’re saving for something specific, staying on budget, or paying off debt — can actually open doors for other friends to do the same. “What I’ve found with my clients is that you’re rarely the only one trying to think about your money differently,” Evans says. “There might be others in the group who also want to do something different but are worried about bringing it up.”

According to Evans, a healthy relationship with money means engaging with your finances without fear or anxiety, understanding your numbers, and having a foundation that supports your needs. It also means having financial security in place while still leaving room to enjoy life.

I love the “yes, but” method because it allows me to do fun things without going overboard. I am lucky enough to have friends that are willing to shift plans to meet all our financial goals. We bond over doing adventurous things together, but they don’t always have to cost a fortune. You do not have to go out for dinner every weekend — try grabbing a coffee and going for a walk! It takes practice, but being financially responsible in college is possible, all while still having the time of your life.