53 “Nobody Wants This” Quotes That Make Me Want to Watch This Show on a Loop

With season two of Nobody Wants This officially here, it’s the perfect time to revisit all the chaotic, awkwardly honest, and painfully relatable moments from season one, and see what the newest season holds (warning: Spoilers ahead!). From Noah’s dry, devastating honesty to Joanne’s beautifully messy spirals, the show delivers lines that still hit harder than they should — and some of them are *perfect* for Instagram and TikTok captions.

Nobody Wants This deals with the question of whether Noah, a rabbi, and Joanne, an agnostic podcast host, can go the distance if she doesn’t convert to Judaism. It might sound like a heavy topic, and there are definitely raw scenes, but the show covers it all: love, fear, and everything in between, plus moments that are just plain funny and relatable. 

Whether it’s a line that makes you laugh, groan, or simply say “hard same,” season one has plenty of quotable moments, and now that season two is here, I rounded up the best lines that linger in your head long after the credits roll.

1. “I’m on your side. I can handle you.” —Noah (Season 1)
2. “It would truly kill me to break your heart.” —Noah (Season 1)
3. “If I’m being real, probably … I’m a hopeless romantic.” —Joanne (Season 1)
4. “What matters is gathering with people we care about.” —Noah (Season 1)
5. “You can’t friend-zone me because I already friend-zoned you.” —Joanne (Season 1)
6. “She said yes, she said yes! We’re off the apps.” —Noah (Season 1)
7. “I want my fairytale, too.” —Morgan (Season 2)
8. “Become worthy of the relationship you want.” —Noah (Season 2)
9. “The honeymoon phase is over. Now, the real relationship starts.” —Morgan (Season 2)
10. “I choose you. Every time.” —Noah (Season 2) 
11. “For me, this relationship is special and unique.” —Joanne (Season 2) 
12. “I’d like to see you cute and in charge.” —Joanne (Season 2) 
13. “Don’t you think we deserve to be in relationships where we can both be exactly who we are while still moving forward?” —Joanne (Season 2)

1. “I told you I was trying to stay away from messy.” —Joanne (Season 1)
2. “You’re going to turn your whole life upside down for this girl?” —Bina (Season 1) 
3. “Opening up about something that makes you uncomfortable. It helps people connect to you.” —Joanne (Season 1)
4. “My biggest fear is that I will become emotionally dependent on a man who thinks I’m too much and will one day break my heart.” —Joanne (Season 1)
5. “But if you don’t risk, you might not experience life.” —Noah (Season 2)
6. “When we don’t feel fear, when we don’t feel judgment, we simply feel love, and that is pretty amazing.” —Big Noah (Season 2)
7. “Sometimes the best things in our life are those that we didn’t plan for.” —Noah (Season 2)

1. “I’m so very proud of you. Today, you’re an adult. And while that may seem daunting, turns out it mostly just involves canceling dinner plans.” —Noah (Season 1)
2. “Everything can have a purpose if you allow it.” —Noah (Season 1)
3. “We all have these chances to wake up and change the course of our lives.” —Noah (Season 1)
4. “Alright, I could make healthier relationship choices.” —Joanne (Season 1)
5. “I am confident. I am empowered. That’s like my whole brand!” —Joanne (Season 1)
6. “I’m just not afraid to be the only one dancing. That is me: fun!” —Esther (Season 2)
7. “I firmly believe you have to spend your birthday in the energy you want to manifest for the coming year.” —Lynn (Season 2)
8. “Sometimes, something happens and you have to just observe it, you have to accept it, and then you move on.” —Noah (Season 2)
9. “We have hobbies because we refuse to accept the chokehold of adulthood that continues to strangle us every day.” —Lenny (Season 2)
10. “If we can find joy in the mundane, in the imperfect, then we can live our lives as if we’re lucky, regardless of what luck comes our way.” —Noah (Season 2) 
11. “I have complete faith in you to feel or not feel whatever is right for you.” —Noah (Season 2)
12. “I kept wanting to reinvent myself, but I was still myself wherever I went.” —Joanne (Season 2)

1. “Oh no, I’m just in constant need of attention.” —Joanne (Season 1)
2. “She’ll burn out. Then she’ll take a little nap. She’s like a puppy.” —Sasha (Season 1)
3. “I’m so sorry about my sister, with whom I have since cut ties.” —Joanne (Season 1)
4. “You called me your friend in front of the teens, whose opinion I care about most.” —Joanne (Season 1)
5. “Sweetie, you can’t fight the ick.” —Morgan (Season 1)
6. “Sorry, I’m cute. I like when people notice.” —Noah (Season 1)
7. “Will anyone there immediately hate me?” —Joanne (Season 1)
8. “We could stay in bed all of Sunday. We could never get out of bed!” —Esther (Season 2)
9. “Toasts are for people who have nice things to say about each other.” —Morgan (Season 2)
10. “I would kill to be left alone on my birthday.” —Esther (Season 2)
11. “We’re not farmers market people; we’re DoorDash people.” —Morgan (Season 2)
12. “I didn’t have an awkward phase. I was always very cool and very pretty.” —Morgan (Season 2)
13. “Ball is more of a lifestyle than a hobby.” —Noah (Season 2)
14. “I’ll show you my TikTok algorithm. That’s intimate.” —Joanne (Season 2) 
15. “I wanna get in this bed, turn on Love Is Blind, and watch it … by myself.” —Joanne (Season 2) 
16. “You got bangs. You have to be at least a little unstable.” —Joanne (Season 2) 
17. “I can’t be myself in front of art.” —Joanne (Season 2)
18. “I love groovy vibes.” —Noah (Season 2) 
19. “Can you please not speak in riddles at such a crucial time?” —Morgan (Season 2) 
20. “Feelings are evidence.” —Joanne (Season 2)
21. “Felicity was an American Girl. Sure, she wasn’t one of the original three, and I wasn’t really into her wartime energy, but she was spunky, and she was mine.” —Joanne (Season 2)